HBO has Legend (2015) on this month, Brian Helgeland’s bio-pic of the Kray Brothers, Ronnie and Reg, twin London crime lords with a colorful but short rule over the city during its swinging London days. I first came across the Krays in Monty Python’s sketch about the Piranha Brothers, Doug and Dinsdale, a documentary parody on the brothers that manages to be broadly funny yet capture the creepy, feared af folk hero aspect of the Krays in the East End. Eric Idle plays one victim whose head Dinsdale nailed to the floor. “Well, he had to didn’t he?” says Idle. “I mean, be fair, there was nothing else he could do.” Dinsdale Piranha was terrified of a giant hedgehog, Spiny Norman, a Terry Gilliam animation, out to kill him like the crocodile after Captain Hook in Peter Pan. “Dinsdaaaaale …”, Spiny called out as he stalked him. Then there was a 1990 film about them that no one seems to like, and now this one.
Helgeland wrote LA Confidential, and like that film, Legend excels at bringing out a non-New York crime world, which is always a nice change of scenery from all the east coast mob movies. A London local might have complaints about what’s what in the East End, but I definitely felt pulled into his whole Don’t Look Back in Anger gangland. Helgeland, his production designer, and cinematographer, deserve a lot of credit their recreation. Tom Hardy plays both Krays, and he pulls off two distinctly different men. Ronnie is a grotesque, hilarious savage oaf in horned-rim glasses, an out gay man who surrounds himself with pretty boy hoods, and could easily have wandered into Python’s Piranha Brothers sketch. Scenes with Ronnie and his mother or Ronnie’s unlikely entrée into Britain’s gay aristocracy are subtly played and funny. Ronnie trying to singing along to Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell’s “Somethin’ Stupid” – “and then I go and spoil it all, by saying something stupid like ‘I love you'” – at a Christmas party that turns ugly is a particularly weird funny moment. Reg is a failed boxer with dreams of being much classier than he could ever be, a Brando Terry Malloy who also wants to be Johnny Friendly. You could argue Ronnie pulled him down with his paranoid, violent behavior – they’re compared to the Gallo Brothers by US mafia boss Angelo Bruno (Chazz Palminteri) who wants them to manage Meyer Lansky’s London casino – but, that’s only part of it. When Reg is upset with his wife, who wants to leave him, he beats and rapes her. At least, that’s what Helgeland’s implying by the off-screen abuse. Reg brings those around him down, too, and she eventually kills herself. The first two acts work quite well, showing the brothers rise to the top and the growing division between them, but then what?
“Dinsdaaaaale ….”

The problem for me is really the third act. Ronnie and Reg both manage to commit separate murders in front of lots of witnesses and so eventually end up, respectively, going to a mental hospital (for life) and prison (until eight weeks before his death). Reg’s wife kills herself, and the two people who really deserve some credit for destroying them, Scotland Yard Det. Nipper Read (Christopher Eccleston), and a barmaid with no dialogue that I can remember who was willing to testify in court against Ronnie – are afterthoughts. Certainly, there’s no happy ending for the Krays, they spent decades in jail and died there. It’s not like Goodfellas where anyone we’re sympathetic to (Henry Hill) gets out and the real goons (Jimmy, Paulie, Tommy) end up dead or in jail. Legend just peters out.
What’s the point of Legend? Idk. London was certainly better off without the Krays. Helgeland gives Reg and Nipper a scene where Reg lays into Nipper Read as a class traitor of sorts for leaving the East End and returning as a detective who arrests “his own.” As opposed to the Krays, I guess, who murder and bleed their own? We don’t need to take Reg too seriously on that. He likes deluding himself into thinking he’s not really a gangster. Reggie loves that he’s a hood, as out about that as he is about being gay.

But, Helgeland is really only interested in depicting how the Krays destroy each other, at which he totally succeeds to a point. But after that, Helgeland doesn’t have a whole lot to say about the Kray Era. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that it wasn’t a bad thing that the Krays blew up their business and weren’t able to front Meyer Lansky and the American mob’s entrée into England. Neither Kray was wronged by life, they’re not anti-heroes with Don Corleone self-pity excuses for what they’re doing. They’re shits. And dumb ones. If Nipper Read and the barmaid were given more voice, you might have some thread in the film where East Enders finally had enough and stood up to them, because that’s what happened – a cop found a Brit willing to speak up after they threatened her kids if she didn’t keep quiet. Instead, we get an ending that just sort of lists and sinks. Too bad, because the first two acts and the beautiful palette of emotions that Hardy finds in these two goons are impressive. So, as far as the Krays on screen go … after two feature films, and many documentaries, I give it up to Python as the best depiction of the boys yet.
“Dinsdaaaaaale …”
I had a weird 24 hours where I slept all day and couldn’t sleep all night, so I watched the first hour of PBS’ American Epic. [How would anyone know from that title it has anything to do with music?]. I love this period of music, when American record companies sent music producers and engineers out into rural America in 1927 to find and record new and unheard talent. It’s produced by Jack White, Robert Redford, and T-Bone Burnett, so that was a draw, too. One review I read said that the series focuses on artist interviews and family members rather than critics and historians, and I have to say, that does not help what I saw overall. The debut episode splits in half between the Carter Family and then Will Shade & The Memphis Jug Band [Jimmie Rodgers and WC Handy also get some mention here.] That is, a white half and a black half. Most of these TV music histories get criticized for who they leave out or who they over emphasize (Ken Burns’ JAZZ got a lot of that), but sweeping cultural histories like this with limited time are more or less infomercials to get you to listen to new music or read serious history. You never really get enough music or history in these things.





Thank god for Spike Lee and Martin Scorsese’s career second acts as documentary filmmakers. I just rewatched Scorsese’s Bob Dylan film NO DIRECTION HOME and, while I know it’s Dylan-controlled, it’s still a great story beautifully told. Lee’s new film about Michael Jackson’s OFF THE WALL is equally interesting. For once, there’s no mention of Joe Jackson’s tyranny, MJ’s predatory sexuality, chimps, or Lisa Marie Presley – just a musical study of Jackson’s life from childhood up until his breakthrough with OFF THE WALL. In most biography of him, they use the word “genius” to explain how his music came about, sort of in the way you’d use “magic” to describe how Harry Potter gets from London to Hogwarts. Lee interviews Jackson’s producers, Berry Gordy, Quincy Jones, the guys from Philly International, songwriters, and musicians all involved with it to really take the album apart in a great way. Jackson only wrote three songs on this one (all but two (?) on THRILLER) but this is the one Lee is citing as Jackson’s musical and personal breakthrough in getting away from his family. Seeing Jackson argue with his brothers on stage during the Victory (?) tour was kind of shock, too. You don’t see him angry much. This is Jackson at a peak of cool and musical creativity for me – when THRILLER came out, all I can remember is the red jacket, the glove, all the SGT. PEPPERY goofiness. Jackson meets Reagan, all that. That’s my memory, anyway, and I’m sure it’s colored by time and my bias against Jackson’s pop supremacy. I was listening to Talking Heads and Squeeze by then, and I wrote him off. Lee’s documentary is a great answer to my teenage rockism.
“It broke up my friendship with Steve Jobs,” he said, “when I told him movies were not meant to be seen on 21/2 -inch screens.” –
I hope Chris Rock kills it on Sunday. But no matter what he does, he’ll get criticized for not being hard enough on the Academy or somehow getting the issue wrong because he’s got a wide range of angry people to please. Keep in mind, he’s got the nearly impossible task of answering the Academy’s long history of diversity issues in one monologue. It’s a huge moment in Oscar history – Rock hosting when the Academy’s whiteness finally became unbearable – that alone has to be the biggest ratings hook of the night. It’s probably the most important Oscar night since the 1968 show after Dr. King was killed. I expect viewership to crater after Rock’s opening jokes. It might be the one year they should give out the awards first and put the monologue on last. I hope it’s as good as Colbert at the White House Correspondents Dinner ridiculing George W. Bush to his face, but Colbert only had to be up there for his piece. Then he got to sit down. Rock’s gotta be there three hours. Think of it this way — Rock gets 15 minutes total to be funny during a three-hour show (at least, that’s what Billy got when I wrote for it). If he’s not hard enough, he’ll get critiqued for letting them off easy. If he attacks the white nominees in front of him too much – making clear that white privilege makes many of them less than legit nominees – or hammers the Academy as outright racists – he’ll most likely lose the audience for the night. That might sound good. But then there’s still 2 hours and 45 minutes to go! When the show lags after hour one, it’ll look to ppl like he’s bombing, like it’s his fault the show is slow or dull. This is one of those moments when they say of pols “It’s the political speech of his life.” I’d say that’s what it is for Rock. No white host would have that weight to carry. And few other black comics. Anyone would have to address it. Billy ripped the Academy voters when we did jokes about THE HELP, but Rock’s one of the smartest guys on race anywhere. The bar has never been higher for anyone hosting this show.